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Hundreds attend tearful vigil for teen who committed suicide

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Hillview Principal Robert Garza, flanked by Nigel’s mother, Lisa Hardy, and brother, Rosario, said the Hardy family wanted to thank the community for showing love and support.
Hillview Principal Robert Garza, flanked by Nigel’s mother, Lisa Hardy, and brother, Rosario, said the Hardy family wanted to thank the community for showing love and support.

PALMDALE – Students, school staff and community members flocked to Hillview Middle School Thursday night for a candlelight vigil in memory of Nigel Hardy, the 13-year-old student who committed suicide earlier this week.

Nigel vigil 5Some youths wore t-shirts with Nigel’s picture on the back and an anti-bullying message on the front. Others held candles with Nigel’s picture on them and wore letter beaded bracelets that spelled “RIP Nigel.”

The crowd of more than 300 gathered just inside the main gates to the school where a collage, featuring several photos of Nigel, was propped against the Hillview Middle School sign.

“Nigel Hardy was a seventh grade student here at Hillview, an absolutely wonderful child,” said Principal Robert Garza. “But like many children, had some challenges in his life.”

Nigel vigil 3“We have no idea what poor Nigel was going through,” said vigil organizer Jennifer Chavez. “He’s not here to be able to tell us and, for that, it’s such a tragedy.”

Nigel reportedly shot himself in the head in a Rosamond restaurant Monday night and was pronounced dead at Antelope Valley Hospital. The teen’s family had reported him missing that morning, after his father found a suicide note in Nigel’s room and discovered that his handgun was missing, sheriff’s officials said. (Read more here)

Nigel vigil 4The 13-year-old had been despondent over an incident at Hillview Middle School that resulted in him being temporarily suspended, according to Palmdale Community Relations deputy Jodi Wolfe.

School officials are not saying why Nigel was suspended, but several students have said that Nigel had a fight with another student, which triggered the suspension. Nigel, a cheerleader with the AV Dynasty, was being bullied at school, his classmates said.

At Thursday’s vigil, Nigel’s teammates said he had an ever-present smile and a cheerful personality, while in the gym doing what he truly loved.

Nigel vigil 6“He was a god in cheerleading…  that’s when he was his happiest,” said teammate Shane Bigelow, a senior at Quartz Hill High School.

“I don’t think he ever wanted to bring any of his problems there and that’s why he never wanted to really open up to us, but I really wish he would have,” said teammate Domanic Sorosjinda, a senior at Lancaster High School.

“I just really hope this all puts a stop to bullying because it’s not right what happened,” said teammate Kelly Hughes, 13.

A facebook page has been created by local students to allow youths to share their stories on bullying and to get support from their peers. The Nigel Project is for kids who are constantly being bullied at school and who may be afraid to seek help, said one of the page’s administrators.

Nigel vigil 1“Our page is mostly to stop bullying and we want to get the word out that this happened, so that it never has to happen again,” the student said. Visit The Nigel Project here.

Speaking at the candlelight vigil Thursday night, Assemblyman Steve Fox said the California Assembly has just passed ACR-44, a resolution to establish the third Thursday of every April as a Day of Silence in the schools to protest bullying. Fox said he would be pushing legislation to change the current education code regarding bullying.

“The state education code states that if someone is found guilty of bullying, they may be suspended for up to five days. I’m going to introduce legislation that says they shall be suspended for up to five days,” Fox said. “We’re going to take a no tolerance policy and give the schools the tools they need to enforce a no bullying policy.”

“Let’s just stop this bullying and let’s just prevent this from ever happening again,” Sorosjinda said. “Do it for Nigel, do it for his family.”

Previous related stories:

School District responds to Hillview student suicide

13-year-old dead, suicide suspected

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Filed Under: Palmdale, Rosamond

100 comments for "Hundreds attend tearful vigil for teen who committed suicide"

  1. There’s a video on YouTube in memory of Nigel called
    Bullying kills sanctuary for Nigel by xxpaigypxx

    • I watched the video, it’s sad. You can see this girl has been crying. My heart aches for the students. God keep them all.

      • The video is sad. I remember the girl, she’s a sweetheart and sensitive. She was known as the singing girl. Her video Hush is very good as well.

    • The video is sweet and sad. It’s like she is singing about young people who has lost hope here, and they all want a safe place (sanctuary)
      Brings tears to my eyes.

      • I watched the video this morning and just listening to the words she is singing is touching. I’ve been civil to everyone today. I even stop tailgating slow drivers. Good job to the girl.

  2. This site is disgusting. It is a forum for fighting and bullying…how ironic. Lets take all of this energy and do something positive and productive. This is a great example of how bullying starts. Honestly, it starts at home, it continues at the school and then social media makes it 100% worse. Everyone Hansen a responsibility in stopping bullying and helping to prevent teen suicide. Let make a change…lets start HERE! At the vigil one of Nigel’s.team mates said to “keep kind”. What a wonderful idea!!!!

    • Mrs. Uptah is a fantastic teacher at Hillview. The kids all love and respect her, and she has a great love for her students, and being a teacher. She is almost always a ail able during lunch periods, and is someone who can be trusted. I would highly encourage any kid on the site to go to her. She is the real deal.
      She was always there for my daughter, even when she left for high school.

    • This site is a “forum for fighting and bullying…” OR it could be a forum for honest discussion and productive discourse. This site is reflective of its readers who are the adults of this community, that’s what makes it so sad. I actually like knowing what people honestly think when under the cloak of anonymity. It gives me perspective. These very same adults pass on that ugly mindset to their children when in the comfort of their own homes, even as they smile and act polite and tolerant in public. Then these children emulate that ugly behavior in our schools, because they don’t yet know how to fake the funk.
      We need to change the mindset of the adults in our community and maybe the mindset of our children will follow. Let’s be the example for our children and change things now, and we can start right here on this forum.

      • Exactly. This could be a place where people can speak their opinions and ideas and we could find a solution. Unfortunately the majority of conversations are not like that. I totally agree with what you are saying. We as adults need to be the example…how can we stop kids from bullying when adults can’t even stop. It starts with us!

  3. Makes me sick to see Mr.Garza acting like he cares about bulling when I know for a fact he doesn’t. I had a child being bullied and at Joe Walker when he was principle and he didn’t give a crap.

  4. When parents start to parent again things will be better. As far as all the finger pointing and assumptions that is why are youth is in so much trouble. PARENT YOUR CHILDREN! That way you don’t have to worry about the cops being called and the schools failing your children as many of you complain about. Public school is what YOU as parents make it for your child. BULLYING had been loosely used. Everyone needs to go back to the basics. Good parenting. All kids make mistakes. It is what we learn from our mistakes that makes us better. Making excuses and pointing fingers because you don’t do your job causes the problems we see. ONLY YOU AS PARENTS CAN FAIL YOUR CHILD.

  5. God Bless this sweet little angel Nigel. You deserve a beautiful life. I feel your pain and know that you are soaring with the angels and we will see you in heaven. The only ones who won’t be there are the ones who are full of hate. But everyone is redeemable as they turn their hearts to love.

    WE LOVE YOU. You are a very special soul.

    GOD BLESS YOU and your family and all your classmates and friends. Help us heal Nigel.

    Please eliminate bigotry and all human suffering.

    • I hope everyone read your post this morning. A student sung a song at the vigil. I remember one part of the her song. There is a land where fears and lies melt away, carried away on the wings of angels.

  6. All you people that think mr Garza is so great as a principal to us. GIVE HIM AN AWARD AND MAYBE A FREE TRIP SOMEWHERE THEN!!!!!!!

    • Dear sweet child your feeling frustrated. No one has said what your saying is not true. No one will be getting an award or trip anywhere. So many people was trying to get something done in the area of a vigil and not everyone was aware of who was doing what. I’m so sad that you the students was kept out of what was going on, but did it not turn out well? You guys still showed up with family and friends not knowing what others had planned. You guys was afraid of getting in trouble you said, but you still came. I for one will say to you. BRAVO, you believed in something good and went forward with it, in spite of everything.

      • Dear truth…what can we do to help? We are all here for you…for everyone. I can tell you are really upset about this. I know there were counselors at the school last week that don’t work for the school. You can talked to them, express what you are feeling and it will be private. You don’t need to go through all of this alone.

        • Truth, If only you knew my plans you would know that although I am one person, I can make things better. I work behind the scenes and alone but I promise I will not stop. I’ve been reading law books all day. I didn’t even eat dinner with my own family. I’m working on something so that changes can be made. It will not be easy for me. However, I will tell you this my dear I am going as far as I can go with this matter. I’m talking Sacramento and Washington D.C. if I have to. Remember this, A mind full of anger is a mind that cannot think or reason. Trust and believe in me, I need that from you more than anything. My task is going to be difficult kiddo. Go to bed now and rest, you may not want to go to school tomorrow but you must move forward. I care Truth.

          • ok, I’ll go to bed now and I believe in you. I’m sorry and I will work on having a thinker’s mind. Can you tell them to stop Garza from calling the sheriff on us at hillview too.

    • Do you know Mrs. Uptah?? She is an awesome teacher at your school. She is cool, fun, smart, and someone who will listen to you, really listen, and someone you can trust. She is almost always available at lunch. Go talk to her. Be real. Express your frustrations. She will not judge. She is fair and to the point!

  7. Someone asked about the http://www.petitions.com
    angel alert
    YOUR NAMES WILL NOT BE ONLINE IF YOU CHOOSE TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS.
    THIS PETITION IS GOING TO THE WESTSIDE UNION SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT.
    There is a national petition on there, that is similar. Sign both if you wish, angel alert not going to the sheriff department. If you have outstanding parking tickets or any other concerns, Don’t worry.
    Let us try to work with the superintendent. Please!

  8. PLEASE sign the petition at http://WWW.ipetitions.com
    angel alert
    YOUR NAME WILL NOT BE ONLINE IF YOU DON’T WANT IT TO BE, IT WILL ONLY BE ON THE HARD COPY OF THE PETITION.
    It’s not much and it can’t change what happened Monday. Nevertheless, it’s a start.

  9. It’s hard even as an adult to comprehend a child taking their own life. My thoughts go out to the families and friends of ALL those affected

  12. At Esperanza which is a feeder school to Hillview, we spent THOUSANDS of dollars to bring in a fantastic assembly on anti bullying. (By we I mean the PTA). He did a game show type thing that kept the kids completely engaged. He had a strong message, and he helped them learn the difference between what was bullying and what wasn’t. That evening we held a parent seminar, we paid extra for him to come speak to the parents. We held it on the same night as open house, a night where parents were already on campus. We advertised it heavily, in every form. Phone calls, letters home, face book, etc. Over 500 parents attended open house…only 15 attended our seminar!!!!!! Believe me, we have taken this very seriously, as have Hillview. This isn’t about liability.
    You will not hear the truth in this case unless the mother comes forward. The school will not divulge information that is deemed private.
    While bullying certainly is something serious to address, it was not the cause of this child’s death. At least not as its been widely reported. He had deeper issues.
    My heart breaks for his family, but it also breaks for the other victim in this case. The other child who is currently being attacked and bullied. He is being bullied by the misguided media, an entire community, and his peers. He got the crap beat out of him last week, returned no punches. His life is forever changed, and nobody even seems to care.
    I would agree that in some cases the schools and admins have turned a blind eye. Especially since some of you have experienced that. This was not the case here.

    • I have two children. One that attends Esperanza and the other one has attentented Esperanza since 2nd grade and this is her first year at Hillview. My youngest I remember did attend the assembly. I did not attend however, because I have a job and could not make it. My daughter knew BOTH kids and saw what was going on. I don’t think you can say that bullying was not Nigel’s case. I don’t know what your defenition of bullying is but just because Nigel didn’t run and hide in a corner after being teased DOESN’T mean he wasn’t bullied! It’s “adults” like yourself that make me ashamed to have my daughter in this district. Since your so aware of the issues were you aware that the assembly Hillview had Wednesday was to pass out awards to students that were well behaved!? The topic of bullying OR suicide WAS NOT addressed! These are middle school students NOT elementary school students! I suggest you get your facts straight!
      This school and the district are in the “best area” of Antelope Valley. I’m so disgusted with both at the way this was all handeled. This area looks down on the eastside of the Valley but all the years I’ve lived in the A.V I have never heard of something like this there.

      • I just hope that your daughter and others like her (who have witnessed bullying) start to speak up to school officials regarding instances of bullying.

        • I think my daughter has learned her lesson in the harshest way EVER! I was so afraid Monday after I picked her up from the lockdown. I wasn’t going to let her go to school Tuesday. After I got a text of the article around 11pm Monday night that Nigel had shot himself my heart broke and I began to pray. I felt so guilty worried for my daughter (even though I know that’s a natural feeling) This child took his own life and he could’ve shot anyone that teased him or anyone he wanted. But he didn’t. He left our kids unharmed and took his own life.
          My daughter and I both did not think it was going to turn out this way. She is taking this whole thing real hard and I’m doing all I can to be there for her but I do expect the school to address this and get the kids the information that they need. Not hand out awards.

      • I stand by everything I said. I too have friends who have had incidents with this child. None of whom will come forward and speak ill of a child who has now passed. Lack of information does not equal thank of commitment to these students. The school and district are bound by privacy laws.
        Here are some questions to ask….How does a child who has a past history with weapons get access to a gun? Why wasn’t an Amber Alert issued so that the community could assist in locating him? Why wasn’t a child who was suspended from school supervised on the day of suspension? How did he get 20 miles from home? How did he sit in a restaurant for 90 minutes alone without it causing red flags?
        There is a lot more to this then is being released to the public.
        Lots of people failed Nigel its tragic, awful, scary, and heartbreaking. How scared and alone he must have felt. I am so sad for the kids who are left to deal with this. . To place the blame on the school is misguided. But I guess that’s the way the this band wagon is rolling.

          • No. I had friends who ‘s children were involved, and I don’t want to publicly name names.

          • My reason for posting is not to point fingers. It’s not to taint the name of a troubled boy. Which we can all agree, in the end he was sad, confused, and alone. My only purpose was to say, MANY factors were involved here, not JUST bullying. And we don’t know what the school did or did not do. They can’t say either way. That is for the families to know.
            It’s sad. And I know that at least at Esperanza, the message has been but out, and continues to be put out. Kids are still mean. Not all parents take an active interest. There are many who think its not their kid.
            My kids aren’t perfect. But to assume that teachers, PTA, admins, coaches, whoever…aren’t caring and trying??? I can’t speak for all, but I know I do take an active interest and concern.
            There are always two sides to every story. That’s all.

          • @Breanna Barnes-you made a comment that inferred he had been involved in using other weapons”.Were you referring to the knife,because that is one weapon,one time . Please clarify,you don’t need to name names.

          • Also. I’m not representing the district, school, PTA, or anyone other then myself. I have friends with kids who were afraid. They were not involved with bullying. I don’t know the children involved with the incident at school. I’m sure there are many different versions of the same story, there always are.
            I’m not saying Nigel was never bullied. I called him troubled, only because he must have been. To be that sad, to feel that alone, that despondent. More factors had to be involved.
            I’m also not saying that the school handled the assembly, vigil, lockdown, etc perfectly. I do know there are many teachers and staff there who do care deeply.
            I think it’s awful that these kids are having to go through this.
            We can always do better.

          • I think you should explain since you brought it up,so as not to unduly blemish this boy’s character.

          • I think everyone has said enough. This wasn’t meant to vilify anyone. Ironic, since that percicely what has happened to the other child involved. Who again I do not know. Everyone is heartbroken, everyone wishes for a different outcome. We need to come together and make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. That’s what truly matters. I’m have nothing firer to say

        • I believe everyone is to blame including the school. They didn’t take care of the bullying, had they done something maybe things wouldn’t have ended this way. The community needs to come together to stand up and speak out which most won’t do. The parents could have done some things different, but they are grieving for their loss I refuse to bash them. I feel so helpless knowing he was all alone. It breaks my heart and it is all I have been able to think about for days, but for you to say bullying was not the reason he took his life that he had “deeper issues”, I ask who the heck are you to even say that? It is this kind of ignorance that allows all of this bullying to continue. Put your efforts toward bettering the community and the schools, not just sit here and defend the school and brag about how much money was spent at 1 assembly at one school. We are not placing all the blame on them, but they do need to assume some responsibility as the bullying was happening on school grounds. Bullying is not something we need to talk to the kids about once at some fun assembly rather something we should talk about EVERYDAY. (Yes I used capitals to get my point across and you know what I can!) We need to stop bullying each other and start speaking up against bullies, DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN, THEY ARE OUR FUTURE!!! I ask you all to ask yourselves, had it been your child or family member would you sit here and defend a school that could have done more? Or would you stand up and SPEAK OUT? Peace everyone, it is all we need.

          • My reason for posting is not to point fingers. It’s not to taint the name of a troubled boy. Which we can all agree, in the end he was sad, confused, and alone. My only purpose was to say, MANY factors were involved here, not JUST bullying. And we don’t know what the school did or did not do. They can’t say either way. That is for the families to know.
            It’s sad. And I know that at least at Esperanza, the message has been but out, and continues to be put out. Kids are still mean. Not all parents take an active interest. There are many who think its not their kid.
            My kids aren’t perfect. But to assume that teachers, PTA, admins, coaches, whoever…aren’t caring and trying??? I can’t speak for all, but I know I do take an active interest and concern.
            There are always two sides to every story. That’s all.

          • Put your effort to bettering the community and school…..well I can proudly say that I have been doing that for the past ten years. Every single day. I am all for anti bullying. I wasn’t putting it out there to brag. I was putting it out there to say, hey we did do something. The parent seminar we held was fantastic. Where was everyone then? And it wasn’t just one assembly. It’s an ongoing character counts program, and other things that we take very seriously. Esperanza offers all kinds of family geared programs, and we actively engage our community. My point was to say, there are many people who do care, and are trying.

          • Beautifully said Brianna E.
            And Brianna Barnes you are the reason I felt I needed to defend Nigel. I know how parents can be in this district. You are putting information out about a child that committed suicide! And because you stated that you’re apart if the PTA I take it as your speaking on the school’s behalf. So you’re willing to put out there information about past weapons history but are protecting your friends children?!
            At sikntired he expelled on the Friday before his death for a knife he had that he didn’t use. I would like to further explain that he went to school Monday had the gun but again did not use it on our children. So that’s how Brianna Barnes feels better about herself defending her friends kids that it seems we’re doing some of the teasing.

          • I never said bullying was the only issue he had. Do I think it is what pushed him over the edge, yes. I don’t personally know him nor his family so I am not going to talk about his other issues as I don’t know if he had them or not. No one, but his family would know that. So I am not sure what other factors you are talking about because you have not once said you know his family personally. We actually do know the school didn’t do much otherwise maybe Nigel wouldn’t have started a fight to defend himself since the school obviously wasn’t helping. I know one of Nigel’s best friends personally, this is someone who Nigel confided in. He along with many other say the bullies were not punished for their actions. I don’t believe in an eye for an eye as it just makes the whole world blind, but even though I DON’T think his bullies need to be bullied back or take full responsibility for this I do think they need to made aware of their actions and what it led to. You’re right when you say you can’t speak for others I am not saying all those people don’t care, although I am sure some don’t, but at the end of the day Nigel slipped through the cracks NOT because no one cared, but because not EVERYONE did. That is why the bullying continues because not everyone cares. I would forget trying to teach those parents who don’t want to listen there is only so much to be done about their denial, but lets put more effort towards the kids themselves they are the future parents. I thank you for what you have done, but please don’t label Nigel as a troubled boy with many other issues. He was just someone who felt alone in this war. More could have been done for him.

          • To be very clear. I am not in anyway representing the school, or district, or am I repeating any information that I heard there. I am speaking for myself, not the PTA.
            I know nothing about a gun at school. I was referring to an incident that happened off campus a couple of months ago. Where my friends children were the victims. They never bullied anyone.
            I’m not saying Nigel was never bullied. My only point was to say there are two sides. I don’t even know the other kid involved.
            I am horrified and sad. I too am grateful that other children were not harmed.
            You don’t know me. You don’t know the hours and years I have dedicated to the children of our community. I’m not going to defend my reputation.
            My only point is there is a lot of blame to go around, and the whole story isn’t out there. This is tragic, no doubt. We need to continue to advocate for kids, no doubt. But to place blame solely on the shoulders of the school. Nope.

          • I am just going to end it here. Again never said school should take full responsibility. I stand by every last word I said, but I won’t play who gets the last say game. I am not bashing you and never said you haven’t done a thing. I actually thanked you for what you have done. Please continue for the kids. Best of luck to you. I will also start participating as more people obviously need to. I am only 19 though, haven’t done much yet myself, but mark my words I will. Rest in Paradise Nigel <3

          • Gee, funny how adamant Brianna Barenes is about clarifying she is “not in anyway representing the school, or district, or repeating any information that she heard there. she is speaking for herself, not the PTA.” Point blank, this kid was picked on. What other “factors” (as you insinuate there were) that were involved are irrelevant. You claim to not slaughter his character, yet bring up “other incidents dealing with weapons” which you openly admit “was off campus a few months ago,” which might I add, was hear say from this “Friend” of yours kids’. Just strange someone would go out of their way, and try to paint an image of concern for this poor boy, yet also villianize him on a PUBLIC website. Have you no sensitivity to the nature of this subject? Honestly! Can you fathom being the waitress at Crazy Ottos who took this boy’s order, who sat there puzzled as he wrote his fathers phone number on a paper, and asked her to call his father just before aiming the gun at his head and then committing suicide in a room full of patrons? You have nerve lady, to sit here and insinuate that bullying was the lesser of his troubles. Kids are cruel, they say and do mean and hurtful things to each other. Especially those are a different in anyway. This boy didn’t deserve what they did to him, and you know what? KUDOS to him for whooping his bully’s asses. He receives a standing ovation on my end. Had he been my kid, I wouldn’t have expected anything less. I was raised to not start it, but finish it. So your innuendos about underlying issues, and trying to introduce the idea that maybe HE was the problem, pitch that crap to someone who doesn’t know better. Grow up lady, to think you’re a representative of the school district, and are around MY kids? That’s our biggest problem. We need to get people like you OUT. The solution is simple. Proctors need to be proactively patrol the campus during all recess, lunch and any time there is interaction between students. It’s called “DOING WHAT THEY’RE GETTING PAID FOR.” They need to LOOK for bullying on the yards, and put an END to it. Not all kids run and tell when they’re getting picked on. I didn’t, for the fear that if I told, I it would get WORSE for me! Punish the kids who are the bullies, not the kids who are the victims, and get fed up enough they begin to act out. This baby was crying out for help in his own subtle way. And NO ONE heard him, no one stopped to pay attention long enough. I’m sickened by the heartlessness of our schools leadership, and supervision (or lack there of!) It’s horrible to think, this 13 year old boy, saw no way out of his misery, than this. And to you, that’s okay? You want to justify the bullying by stating that “Well, you know, there were ‘other’ incidents that my friends who knows a friend, that seen these kids’ friends, cousins, brothers, sisters a few months back off campus…” Do you stop and read your crap? Brianna Barnes, you’re a shameful person. A very disappointing individual indeed. I hope that you can feel better about your self that this little boy will now be six feet under, and your “FRIENDS’ kids will now be safe” from him and all his issues. Sleep well tonight, because those bullies he was dealing with, well, maybe now they will target the same kids’ you choose to “not name and protect.” Don’t spread rumors friend. Karma is a bitch, and guess what, over protective mothers like myself are too. I hope to see you at the meeting Wednesday, I would LOVE to discuss this face to face woman to woman with you, because your point of view is extremely delusional, and you piss me off. To the friends and family of Nigel, I support YOU, and your sweet Niel, 100%, and I’ll be there to fight that fight against those BULLIES that made his life a living hell. TEAM NIGEL!!!!!!!!! TOGETHER WE STAND!!!!

        • Mama Bear. I think you missed the point Mrs.Barnes was trying to make. Another lady posted the same version of this story on another thread, maybe a little more elequently. ( on the thread about how Westside responded.)I think we all need to back off each other, and quit the fighting. We are all saddened and want the best for our kids.

          • Here it is:
            Sandee on April 22, 2013 at 2:00 am

            I have debated for days whether to chime in on this or not, but after discussing it this evening with my daughter, and seeing some of the comments, I think I should.
            First though, my daughter is a 13 year old student at Hillview, she witnessed the fight on Friday, and what led up to it. She really liked Nigel, and considered him a friend.
            My daughter came home from school a week ago Friday and she was upset when she got home. She saw a friend of hers get into a fight with another boy that he had issues with, and then her friend got suspended for the fighting and because he had a knife on campus. The boy with the knife was Nigel, and the boy he was fighting never hit him back, and actually got beat up pretty bad.
            I was horrified at the thought of a 13 year old carrying a knife around on campus, and then getting into fights. The school was right to suspend him for it.
            Since the tragic incident on Monday, my daughter, like a lot of the kids on campus, has been pretty traumatized. Thankfully, because of the amount of support on campus, she has also opened up and is talking about things that she rarely talked about before.
            After talking to my child for a week BEFORE jumping to conclusions to letting emotion get the best of me, this is what I know. Nigel moved here 5 months ago, but he had had some issues where he lived before. He was a good looking kid, and made friends pretty quickly. He was ALSO the target of a lot of what my daughter calls word bullying, what most of us older people would probably call very mean teasing.
            One of the things that no one wants to say, but it needs to be said anyway, is that Friday’s incident was not the only time there had been an issue with Nigel and a weapon, and not the first time he was in serious trouble for having a weapon, which is seriously disturbing, and as a parent, the fact that I found out about this only after a tragedy happened shows how much even the best of kids, and my daughter is a really great kid, don’t share with their parents because they don’t want their parents to not like their friends.
            Nigel, like a lot of kids his age, had issues. He was having trouble making the adjustment to being a teenager, and there is no doubt he was also being bullied. We have to be honest at some point and say that this kid got in trouble for having a gun in a park a few months ago, he had a knife at school on Friday, so the school took appropriate action by suspending him, and they even took appropriate action by locking the schools down on Monday when they found out he had left his home with a firearm.
            We can look back in hindsight and see a whole lot of things that maybe should have been done, or could have been done, but weren’t. It doesn’t help at this point though.
            There is one message though that really concerned me that came from my daughter in out conversation tonight. At Hillview right now, suicide is almost glamorized. These kids are seeing someone become what amounts to a celebrity for suicide, and we should be very afraid of the message this is sending out to very impressionable young people, some of whom are being bullied, some of whom have troubled home lives. We don’t need any more Nigel’s here.
            Reply

            Sandee on April 22, 2013 at 2:12 am

            I wanted to add one more thing. There have been a couple comments from what appear to be students complaining about the school calling the sheriff in when problems happen on campus. First, we are pretty new to Hillview, my daughter just started there in September, but even I know that Hillview, like all schools, is mandated to report any incidents of weapons on campus, and unfortunately, kids bring them to school a lot.
            In this era of school shootings, and mass killings on school campuses, I am thankful for this policy.
            The school has 2 jobs as far as I’m concerned with my child, to give her an education, and to make sure she is safe while she is there. I don’t think there is anything more unsafe then 12, 13, and 14 year old kids running around with knives and guns.

  13. Oh almost forgot. We kept asking them what they was going to do in memory of Nigel and they kept saying nothing. We secretly planned the vigil and an office pet told. We was surprised to see them coming and then they took over as if they planned it. I’m glad I’ll be at another school for next year.They hate us, it’s in their eyes.

    • So sorry to see them do this. Actually Mr. Garza himself walked up to the lady who was passing out candles out of the trunk of her car and said to her and I quote, “Are you the organizer of this? Because you can’t just do this without a plan.” I was up at the fence witnessing the whole thing when he had said this, she responded no and he walked off all mad and he was pacing. He didn’t even give her a chance to respond to the question he just attacked her and didn’t apologize. I walked around to talk to her so my facts are straight because I won’t be silent. As soon as the news vans showed up, he had a big smile on his face for the camera and took over. Shame on you Mr. Garza! Earlier that day he also informed student not to go they didn’t have permission. All the kids wanted was closure.

      • Mr Garza do pretend in front of people. he is not what people think as far as being righteous or caring. I see him at school and the way he looks at us is scary. He don’t like being there, I think being the principal pays good.

      • Actually, my friend planned the vigil. She had spoken to Mr
        Tarzan and the district office prior to the event. They were supportive of the vigil but had concerns due to various reasons. They were very accomidating. Provided info. On suicide prevent
        Nation, provided the microphone for my friend to speak. I know it had been a stressful ans sad week for all. I also know the Hardy family has appreciated their support. There are lots of questions to be answered but all of the negativity and bullying on this site is not productive. Lets lead by example, I know there are kids reading this!

          • you don’t go to hillview. Friday Mr Garza was mad at us all. No smiling, like he does in front of parents. I’m telling you we planned the vigil in secret and if an adult had talked to him about it. HE TOLD US NOTHING AND THAT THE SCHOOL WAS GOING TO DO NOTHING WHEN WE KEPT ASKING, OVER AND OVER AND OVER. EVEN THAT THURSDAY MORNING, WE KEPT ASKING AND WAS TOLD AGAIN NOTHING WAS PLANNED BY THE SCHOOL. WE WAS AFRAID WHEN WE SAW HIM THERE BECAUSE WE DIDN’T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE. SOME OF US TRIED TO HIDE IN THE CROWD.

          • I am definately sorry to hear that. I can see how that would be frusterating. The important thing is, is that we did have the vigil for Nigel and it wad beautiful. You definately should talk to your parents about what happens at school. Maybe things can change.

          • (nobody) No one really care about us anyway. Maybe two or three people care. We’re lost and alone. Parents go to work and want everything perfect when they come home. We don’t tell them so they don’t worry. We are hated and intimidated by the sheriff being called all the time by Garza the terrible. No one person can help us, we need many. But they won’t come. Close their mind and pretend everything is alright. Be strong even if you have to hate to get that strength. We can’t trust them.

          • Truth,
            Do you know Mrs. Uptah?? She is an awesome teacher at your school. She is cool, fun, smart, and someone who will listen to you, really listen, and someone you can trust. She is almost always available at lunch. Go talk to her. Be real. Express your frustrations. She will not judge. She is fair and to the point!

          • No miss Barnes, I don’t know that teacher but I don’t talk to none of them. They will just run to Garza and tell anyway. Then my parents will be called or maybe the sheriff if I say the wrong thing. my GPA is above 3.5, am not stupid enough to trust any one working with Garza the terrible.

  14. The students are afraid to speak up. I know of an incident where students did go to the principal and a teacher got mad at them, saying they were petty and wasting the principle’s time and she wanted them to apologize or they would get kicked out of one of the clubs she is over.

  15. so NOW all the classmates want to come together after he kills himself what happen to all theses people when he needed help when he was being bullied now he is not longer here you all want to act like this you all should be ashamed of yourselfs he needed help when he was alive

    • I know some of Nigel’s close friends and what I know is they and Nigel tried to speak out. The SCHOOL failed in helping, not the the 12 and 13 year old children. A lot of them probably didn’t know what to do they were probably scared. We need to remember these are kids not adults.

  16. I wonder if the person involved in the fight was suspended. He was obviously distraught and I wonder why his parent’s didn’t catch on to his emotional pain. I saw them interviewed on t.v. and the dad was weeping, and it made me wonder whether he wasn’t supportive of his son. I mean, you can be a tight knit family, but outward appearances are just for show. No one really knows what kind of family structure this young man had. The fact that he had easy access to a firearm is shameful. R.I.P. young man. Sorry to hear bullying caused you to take your life. Wish I had been there for you somehow.

  17. Clearly Steve Fox does not see the irony in declaring zero tolerance and mandatory suspensions for bullying. Zero tolerance and mandatory suspensions resulted in Nigel being suspended for fighting. Instead of sending kids home they should be required to attend counseling on campus. When a fight occurs there should be a mandatory meeting between all parties and their parents to address the issue, rather than applying a one size fits all approach that does nothing to address the problem.

  18. One way to surely stop the bullys involved is to post their pictures here ASAP. If so, they will be known to all and will NEVER hurt anyone ever again.

    • At Esperanza which is a feeder school to Hillview, we spent THOUSANDS of dollars to bring in a fantastic assembly on anti bullying. (By we I mean the PTA). He did a game show type thing that kept the kids completely engaged. He had a strong message, and he helped them learn the difference between what was bullying and what wasn’t. That evening we held a parent seminar, we paid extra for him to come speak to the parents. We held it on the same night as open house, a night where parents were already on campus. We advertised it heavily, in every form. Phone calls, letters home, face book, etc. Over 500 parents attended open house…only 15 attended our seminar!!!!!! Believe me, we have taken this very seriously, as have Hillview. This isn’t about liability.
      You will not hear the truth in this case unless the mother comes forward. The school will not divulge information that is deemed private.
      While bullying certainly is something serious to address, it was not the cause of this child’s death. At least not as its been widely reported. He had deeper issues.
      My heart breaks for his family, but it also breaks for the other victim in this case. The other child who is currently being attacked and bullied. He is being bullied by the misguided media, an entire community, and his peers. He got the crap beat out of him last week, returned no punches. His life is forever changed, and nobody even seems to care.
      I would agree that in some cases the schools and admins have turned a blind eye. Especially since some of you have experienced that. This was not the case here.

      • Since I have seen your need to repost so will I.
        I have two children. One that attends Esperanza and the other one has attentented Esperanza since 2nd grade and this is her first year at Hillview. My youngest I remember did attend the assembly. I did not attend however, because I have a job and could not make it. My daughter knew BOTH kids and saw what was going on. I don’t think you can say that bullying was not Nigel’s case. I don’t know what your defenition of bullying is but just because Nigel didn’t run and hide in a corner after being teased DOESN’T mean he wasn’t bullied! It’s “adults” like yourself that make me ashamed to have my daughter in this district. Since your so aware of the issues were you aware that the assembly Hillview had Wednesday was to pass out awards to students that were well behaved!? The topic of bullying OR suicide WAS NOT addressed! These are middle school students NOT elementary school students! I suggest you get your facts straight!
        This school and the district are in the “best area” of Antelope Valley. I’m so disgusted with both at the way this was all handeled. This area looks down on the eastside of the Valley but all the years I’ve lived in the A.V I have never heard of something like this there.

        • Didn’t mean to repost, was on my cell phone.
          You and many people have already made up your mind about this, and I just wanted to represent that there is always more to the story. As far as divulging information, I didn’t. Any kid who was there that day saw who started the fight and what happened. I was trying to make a point that the same people championing anti bullying, are now in fact bullying the other child involed. He’s a kid too. Kids do dumb things. His life is forever changed, he learned a lesson in the most horrific manor.
          I do know that iIn addition to staff, grief counseling has been provided by Dept of Mental Health, Penny Lane, and Mental Health America. They are doing something.

      • I just saw a duplicate post. So I feel the need to address you again. One, can you give me the information on who exactly taught my child at this assembly? Because now I’m wondering what is categorized to you as “not bullying” and “bullying?”
        I will reiterate Nigel did not run in a corner and hide. He did not continue to “bug” the office and tell on the kid and kids teasing him. So I guess that’s not considered bullying?! Yes he started the fight. Were you there? My daughter was. And I have left out that I do have family that works for the district and how you all have your own stories of what happened.
        He was troubled and this was not the reason he took his life?! Well, ONE, I’m glad that your kids are PERFECT! And TWO since you knew him so well and are PTA then why didn’t YOU help?!

        • And you should’ve left out that your ‘Family’ works for the district because it is illegal for them to divulge information about any minor and they could get themselves in trouble. (and for God’s sake LAY OFF THE CAPS)

          • I DID NOT name any names. I know what the laws are. So it’s ok in your opinion that Brianna Barnes stated that bullying was not the reason Nigel took his life?! That’s what a lot of adults are saying in the district. She divulged information of Nigel being the one that started this fight and that he was not being bullied. I know this because that’s what the school and district are discussing. I also know MORE about the other kid in this but am not stupping to their levels. (As of yet)
            A kid took HIS life and your asking God for me to stop typing in caps?! I’m angry that i need to try and defend a CHILD’S name and that yes my child could have ended up injured or dead in all this. But I thank GOD they weren’t.

          • Didn’t mean to repost, was on my cell phone.
            You and many people have already made up your mind about this, and I just wanted to represent that there is always more to the story. As far as divulging information, I didn’t. Any kid who was there that day saw who started the fight and what happened. I was trying to make a point that the same people championing anti bullying, are now in fact bullying the other child involed. He’s a kid too. Kids do dumb things. His life is forever changed, he learned a lesson in the most horrific manor.
            I do know that iIn addition to staff, grief counseling has been provided by Dept of Mental Health, Penny Lane, and Mental Health America. They are doing something.

        • The person we hired was John Abrams. Highly recommended , and known as one of the best anti bullying speakers in the state. His parent seminar was fantastic.

          • Well sounded like Hillview took some notes on his “fun” assembly. I have been trying to be there for my daughter. It’s hard when I have never been threw something like this in my life. So yes I expect more from the schools. Even having a heart. The VP told the kids not to show up for the vigil because they did not get the permission needed. I’m not the type of parent to defend children’s misbehavior. But I have a heart. You stated that you know you’re children are not perfect. Well sounds like they are. So good for you. I hope that you never end up having “troubled” kids as you have described Nigel as a “troubled boy”
            I have tried so hard to not get so emotionally involved but you sound like most of the Rancho Vista parents and staff riding on their high horse. I just hope you humble yourself real quick because your child attend the same child my child does and I DO NOT need adults like you influencing him at all

          • Well Jessica if you are truly unhappy with the Westside School District there is always homeschooling. The school can only do so much. Ultimately I personally believe it is the parents responsibility to be involved in their child’s lives and to be aware of what’s going on with them. Everybody at some point has been called names, made fun of etc. I have, my kids have and I’m sure you have as well but if my child were truly being bullied and the school was doing nothing about it I would transfer them to another school or home school. I also agree with Brianna that there are always two sides to a story. I have always taught my children to stand up for someone if they are being bullied and to always try and put yourself in someone else’s shoes before you judge them or make assumptions. I am so terribly sorry for the Hardy’s loss but I am also terribly sorry for the other child involved because some of the things I have seen written by adults are just disgusting. (like you threatening to that you know more- unbelievable)

        • My reason for posting is not to point fingers. It’s not to taint the name of a troubled boy. Which we can all agree, in the end he was sad, confused, and alone. My only purpose was to say, MANY factors were involved here, not JUST bullying. And we don’t know what the school did or did not do. They can’t say either way. That is for the families to know.
          It’s sad. And I know that at least at Esperanza, the message has been but out, and continues to be put out. Kids are still mean. Not all parents take an active interest. There are many who think its not their kid.
          My kids aren’t perfect. But to assume that teachers, PTA, admins, coaches, whoever…aren’t caring and trying??? I can’t speak for all, but I know I do take an active interest and concern.
          There are always two sides to every story. That’s all.

          • Jessica,
            I am a parent of a child who was bullied. I am not saying that Nigel was never bullied.
            If I was there, I would have intervened. I would hope most of us would.
            I am not representing Hillview, the district, or the PTA. Just myself. Just to say there are two sides. Not to say we shouldn’t do more. We can always do more.
            Troubled. Yes. He was alone, scared, despondent . Was bullying the only factor? Not likely. I am grateful that more children were not harmed.
            I don’t know the kids who bullied him. I do know kids who were bullied themselves.
            Is any anti bullying program 100%. .no. But there are many adults in our community who care and are trying. And there are many adults at Hillview who are also.
            I’m not here to defend my reputation, and I’m not going to engage in further debate here.

  19. In order for that 5 day suspension rule to be successful, there needs to be some sort of assurance that the individual suspended is actually supervised. Sending a kid home for five days will likely mean 5 days of XBOX playing, or a trip to Disneyland. Parents who don’t believe their child is a problem won’t enforce punishment, and those without the means to stay home will just leave the child alone.
    Maybe in school suspension programs should be re visited in our districts. Otherwise, this is a complete fail.

  20. Please your opinions: as a parent do you tell your children to fight and stand up for themselves as long as they are not throwing the first punch OR Do you tell your children to walk away and tell an adult? As an adult when I have come upon this situation I have walked Way. This was my belief to have trust in the authorities . I was coming hm from a dinner with family it was dark outside on Rancho Vista Blvd. and a lg. cement stone was thrown at my car and broke my windshield . We ran over to 2 Palmdale Police Officers sitti g at a red light asked for help. We were told this is really not our area and they slowly drove away as the light turned green. We have called Palmdale Police Dept. when we have had our electrical boxes tampered with in our neighborhood Items stolen and broken in the neighborhood along with eggs thrown and reported it to authorities. On zero occasions has anyone helped us. We do have a neighborhood watch. My point being what do we teach our children when authorities let us down and no faith in a broken system weather be school or a citizen. What do we teach and tell our children when they ask the question ” what should I do mom/ dad” possibly just like in this case. Fight back or walk away( will it ever end)?

  21. SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT! JUST LIKE KIDS,ALSO SOME ADULTS BULLY PEOPLE!!!
    I HAD SOME KIDS BULLYING MY KID, WHEN I WENT TO TALK TO HIS “MAMA” THE WHOLE FAMILY WANTED TO JUMP ME!! SAME THING HAPPEND TO MANY OTHER FAMILIES!! WE WOULD CALL THE SHERRIFS BUT THEY WOULDN’T DO NOTHING!! WE THE COMMUNITY GOT TOGETHER AN COMPLAINT TO THE CITY AN WAS EVICTED FROM THE SECTION 8 HOUSING PROGRAM!! THEY WOULD TRy AN GET ALL OVER MY FACE BUT THEY COULDN’T MESS WITH ME! SOME PEOPLE JUST AIN’T GOT NO MANNERS!!! THEY SHOULD HAVE POSTED NIGEL’S AGGRESSORS!

    • I agree with you NotAgain. Obviously Nigel didn’t have the back-up like a person like you…sad. Yes indeed we cannot let bullies get the best of us. Bullies are troubled and need help to not be so dang vicious. We need to teach our children to not let anyone push you around nor mess with you with ugly words and phrases. I wonder if the other kid in the fight got suspended for bullying, and if not that is a dang shame. Someone should have read the signs that Nigel was troubled, but now it’s too late. R.I.P. Nigel

      • The other kid in the fight did NOT get suspended. This kid teased Nigel on a DAILY basis. Nigel had enough and hit him. The other kid did not fight back. Guess he knew that the “zero tolerance for bullying” was BS and continued and didn’t expect Nigel to hit him. So then the school gave him what he wanted and Nigel was expelled NOT suspended as the media is saying.

        • I am compelled to say something in response to this. My daughter knew the boys as well and her version is very different. This is all one very bad game of telephone, some facts here, some fiction there… Unless you yourself were present you shouldn’t make such accusations.

          • Ok. Let’s state the facts. The fact is Nigel was teased. The fact is Nigel DID NOT take my daughter’ OR YOUR daughters life! For that I thank God. The fact is Nigel took his life. That’s enough facts for me.
            I like to think I’m a person known not to speak unless I know the facts. So those right there are the facts for you!

          • Again, not divulging any info that isn’t already out there…and knowing this from many other forums , not hearing this from anyone in the district….there is a ZERO tolerance on weapons. You bring a knife to school, you get suspended. Period.

  22. The vigil for Nigel was touching. I heard many of the students asking WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE(school officials). I know you guys planned it and you felt it was stolen from you,I guess they heard about it. That is politics. Nevertheless, remember who it was really for and what it was about. I understand your feelings, but ease your minds in knowing your purpose was done. Take some satisfaction in that.

  23. My Son got tired of being bullied by some gang members and when one of them when to hit my son, my son went to defend himself and knocked the bully out. Well because my son just turned 18 two weeks prior he was arrested.. The bully went on facebook and discussed the fight like it was nothing. Now I have to pay a lawyer to defend my son who has never been into trouble, while this gang banging bully who is already on probation run freely to continue to reek havoc.

    • Sorry to hear this. The bullies need to be put in check too. I know the kind you’re talking about and they belong in a crazy house.

  24. rip nigel baby!!! i havnt stop crying since i heard. their is nothing i can do to bring you back. hurts so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. Changing the education code to “shall” be suspended up to 5 days isn’t the point. Why are these administrators so blind? When a child is being constantly bullied and the bully decides to take a swing at the victim, the victim is not allowed to protect their own body according to school rules. Apparently the victim has no right to defend themselves, such as blocking a punch or hitting the person back out of our natural fight or flight instinct. If a victim defends themselves i.e.”throws a punch”, they are suspended, and treated as the bully’s equal. No wonder this child felt so despondent. I can’t imagine the pain of being pushed, teased, harassed, having constant mental anguish then physically assaulted, and the icing on the cake, being suspended for an altercation. It’s the equivalent the of the school district spitting in your face.

    • IIRC, the whole change in the school codes to punish both participants in a fight equally, began in the 90’s… I thought it was retarded back when I was in High School from 1992-1995 as well.

      So if you defend yourself against an attacker, YOU TOO get suspended from school? So absolutely lame and back-asswards.

    • Actually assemblymember Fox DID put that language in the Assembly bill passed yesterday RE: Bullying :)

      • The distict already had the discretion to suspend for five days. Why doesn’t Fox support meaningful discussion and concrete changes? Instead, he wants to pass another law.